


Promises Broken

by Myriamele_Stratton



Series: Always Love [2]
Category: EXO (Band), EXO - Xiumin
Genre: Burning Man, Cutting, Depression, F/M, Happy Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:34:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29168136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myriamele_Stratton/pseuds/Myriamele_Stratton
Summary: Worse than a misunderstanding, this time Mirielle takes Minseok's words to heart and tries to end it all.
Relationships: Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Always Love [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2151090





	Promises Broken

**Author's Note:**

> This is my own story, please don't steal it. It is entirely fiction. There are triggering moments in it.
> 
> I do not allow comments on my works as it's too difficult to deal with the hate, so if you wanted to say you liked it, thank you, I appreciate it.

Mirielle stood in Minseok’s home office with her hands on her hips, glaring at her husband while he sat behind his desk and matched her angry stare with one of his own. She’d gotten home from work and again hadn’t smelled the scent of dinner permeating the air, so she had gone to his office door once she’d taken off her outerwear and changed into her slippers. She’d tried opening the door but found it locked, so she’d knocked, and when he’d answered, she’d asked him if he wanted her to cook dinner. He had said no, he’d eaten already, and when she asked if he would open the door so she could give him a hello hug and kiss, he’d refused, claiming that he was swamped. She’d heard the anger in his tone, but she assumed it was due to some problem at work, so she’d called an I love you through the door, gone to their bedroom to shower, and change into one of his hoodies and a pair of her leggings, then had gone to the kitchen to cook herself some ramen. 

Now, it was nearly midnight, and she’d not heard or seen her husband since she’d knocked on his door almost six hours earlier. She sighed as she glanced at her phone, then looked in the direction of his office, pondering whether she should wander down the hall and ask if he needed anything. He’d become somewhat cold of late, having stopped cuddling her at night before sleep, coming to bed after she’d already fallen into slumber, and was gone before she woke up in the morning. All of her efforts to contact him were either ignored or rebuffed, and he’d locked himself in his office every night when he came home. 

“This has been going on for weeks... wait...” Miri checked her calendar and sighed, shaking her head. “Three months... since our anniversary... and in three weeks it will be Christmas. I can’t handle the thought of not being in his arms for Christmas Eve or not waking up with him on Christmas morning... I just need to confront him and find out what the hell is going on, remind him that I’m still here and I am still important in his life.” Mirielle nodded her head after giving herself that little pep talk, then got up from the couch to go to the kitchen and fetch the spare key to his office door. She knew he would hate that she was disturbing him, but he’d also said that there was a spare key for the door if there was an emergency, and honestly, she considered this to be one of the highest order. 

She hadn’t even knocked; she’d just slid the key into the lock, turned the knob, and sauntered in. 

“Minseok, you need to...” she started to say while trying to keep her voice calm and even. 

He’d been working on his laptop, and he lifted his eyes to look at her over the rims of his glasses, a frown creating creases in his forehead and turning the corners of his lips down. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Mirielle? I told you I was busy.” 

“Wow... you don’t even care if there is some sort of emergency, you just assume I’m interrupting you for no reason...” Miri replied as she crossed her arms over her chest. (Even as mad as I am at him, he is so fucking hot with his glasses on... jesu...) 

Minseok lifted his head and gave her the full effect of his furious gaze, causing her to blanch slightly, and asked, “Is there an emergency?” 

“Um... well, n-no... b-but...” Miri cursed at herself internally for stuttering like a naughty child being questioned for something she’d done wrong. (He’s your fucking husband, for god’s sake, Kim Mirielle, it’s not like you don’t have the right to ask why he’s been treating you like he has...) 

“Then if it isn’t a fucking emergency, get the hell out of my office.” Minseok glared at Mirielle when she lowered her arms and planted her hands on her hips. 

“I will not get out of your fucking office until you tell me what the hell your problem is with me lately. You’ve been acting like I don’t exist. What the fuck is your issue, Minseok??” Mirielle stepped back slightly when Minseok came up out of his chair and started stalking toward her. 

“What the fuck is my issue, Mirielle?? I can’t believe you’re acting like you don’t know! And since you are obviously not going to leave my office, I’ll leave, and you can stay, how about that, you bitch??!” 

Miri’s mouth dropped open when he called her that name, turning on her heel as he stormed past her. “DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE THIS ROOM, YOU BASTARD!” 

Minseok stopped dead in his tracks after she yelled, turned around to face her, and stepped close, so he was looming over her. He raised his hand and slapped her across the face, hard enough to knock her down, then stood over her and snarled, his lowered voice more terrifying than his loud one. “Don’t you ever tell me what to do or what not to do again, you fucking bitch. As for what my issue is, I’m sure if you think about it long enough, you’ll figure it out. In the meantime, I’ve filed for divorce, and as soon as the papers arrive, I'll sign them, and I expect you to sign them, as well.” He stepped closer to where she crouched on the floor, her hand covering her cheek where he’d hit her, Mirielle flinching when she saw the edge of his slipper come into view from where her hair covered her face. “And now, I am going to bed, whether you like it or not. I will lock the bedroom door; don’t bother knocking because I won’t open it.” He turned away from her, and she lifted her head. 

“But where will I sleep?” Mirielle gasped, trying hard not to sob. 

“I don’t fucking care,” Minseok replied as he strode through the door. 

It took a few minutes, but Miri managed to stand up, her hand still covering the stinging spot on her face, while she tasted blood from where her tooth had cut her lip. She continued to fight her instinct to break down, determined to force him to talk to her, unable to understand that he would file for divorce without giving her a reason why. 

She went upstairs and stopped in front of their bedroom door, then tried the knob. Of course, it was locked as he said it would be, so she knocked. “Minseok? Seokie-ah, please... I don’t understand what’s happening... please, Seokie-ah... I don’t know what I did... please... tell me what I did... please...” 

She stood at the door and knocked for five minutes, the sound getting softer and softer as the realization that he wasn’t going to open the door started to sink into her brain. She could have easily gone to the kitchen and retrieved the key for this lock, too, but she suspected she would still receive no answers from him, and he was likely to give her a matching sting on her other cheek for her trouble. 

He’d never hit her like that before, never in pure anger and without restraint. He’d never knocked her down or called her a horrible name. She stood there and rested her forehead on the door, her hand on the knob that wouldn’t turn, and finally whispered, “You lied to me... you swore you would never abandon me, but you lied... you’re just like everyone else in my life... I don’t even know what I did... but if it was horrible enough for you to come to hate me so badly, and to want to throw me out of your life, then... then I’ll go... and you won’t have to ever see me again... I’ll... I’ll keep my identification with me, so when they find me, you can have me declared dead, and you won’t have to wait to dissolve our marriage... and I’ll make myself suffer for whatever it was I did... goodbye, Seokie-ah... I’m... I’m so sorry... for whatever it was... I’m so sorry...” 

Miri walked slowly through the house, checking the doors and windows to be sure they were locked, as they had always done together before they slept, then went to the front foyer to pick up her purse and to the living room to find her phone. Then she stood and looked at the stairs that led to the second floor, her gaze staring at the landing where she hoped with all her heart that Minseok would come out and tell her it was all a huge mistake and he was sorry, and he still loved her, but... even though she stood there for almost an hour, he never came. 

She cried the whole time, the darkness blurring from her tears, and when she’d wipe them away, she’d have hope, but... eventually, it died, just as her heart had. She took a deep breath, whispered, “Goodbye, Seokie-ah... I wish you to find someone you can love, who won’t do whatever it was I did...” She turned around, walked through the house to the garage, got into her car, and drove away. 

Minseok watched from the bedroom window as her car disappeared down the street, his own tears slipping down his face, but he swiped them away angrily and frowned. “Don’t be an idiot, Minseok; you’re better off without a cheating whore like her.” 

You see, even after the misunderstanding regarding Minseok’s idol clients a year ago, and even after both of them promised to always talk about whatever was wrong, sometimes the evidence is just too real. Except... 

Minseok’s phone rang, and he frowned when he looked at the clock to see it was almost one-thirty in the morning. “Who the fuck would be calling me right now?” He frowned when he thought it might be Miri and almost didn’t check his phone, but his curiosity got the better of him, and he looked... and it was his partner, Chinhwa. 

“Hello? Chinhwa, why are you calling me so late, is there an emergency?” Minseok rolled his eyes when he said those words, as his mind flashed back to asking Mirielle that same question a short time ago. 

“Minseok! Yes, there’s an emergency, it’s about the video...” Chinhwa’s breath was panting as he talked, and Minseok frowned. 

“The video? Which video? And why are you huffing and puffing?” It didn’t occur to him that there might be a carnal reason for the wheezing noises coming from his friend’s throat, and it turned out there wasn’t. 

“Because I ran out to my car, and I’m on my way to your house right now... Minseok... it’s the video that shows Mirielle with that other man...” 

Minseok’s hand fisted at his side, and he growled into the phone. “Why are you coming over to my house in the middle of the night to talk to me about the video that ruined my life?” 

There was a pause, then Chinhwa replied, “Because it’s fake... and you need to see the original...” 

Minseok blinked and sat down on the edge of the bed. “What do you mean, it’s fake? How do you know?” 

“It’s fake, Minseok, and I know because I had a few people analyzing it once you finally gave me a copy. I wish you weren’t so fucking stubborn and had given me a copy when you first received it...” Chinhwa waited for a long moment for Minseok to reply, then asked, “Are you still there?” 

It took another long moment for Minseok to reply, and when he did, his voice was a mere whisper. “I’m... I’m here... how long before you get here?” 

“I’ll be there in twenty minutes; there’s a pretty heavy snowstorm out here right now... thank god for four-wheel drive. You and Miri are lucky you’re in a nice, warm house. WOAH!” Chinhwa suddenly exclaimed. 

“What happened??!!” Minseok blurted, his eyes grown wide as he processed what Chinhwa had just said, and realized that Mirielle was now out driving in that storm... and she was upset. “Shit...” 

“People don’t know how to drive out here, damn! It’s okay; nothing happened, that guy just scared me. You know, it looked a lot like Miri’s car... then again, there are a lot of people with dark blue Mercedes SUVs lately.” Chinhwa chuckled softly, and Minseok blinked. 

“Chin, which way was that SUV going?” Minseok asked, his voice tight with worry. 

“It was traveling Northeast; why?” 

“I’ll tell you when you get here. Hurry as much as you can, but be safe...” 

“Hah, I’ll be fine, as long as no other idiots like that one cross my path! Aish, hopefully, they won’t cause any collisions between here and wherever they’re going.” 

Minseok held his hand over his face as he felt his eyes begin to burn with tears. “If it’s who I think it is driving that car, she’ll be okay... it’s once she gets wherever she’s going that will be the problem...” 

“What do you mean? Wait... was that Miri??” Chinhwa sounded flabbergasted. 

Minseok sighed. “I... I think so... oh god... Chin, I... I’ve done something horrible...” 

“Oh no... okay, sit tight, I’ll be there soon, and you can tell me what happened...” 

“Okay... talk to you soon...” Minseok cut the call and lifted his head to look out the window, then hurriedly got up and walked over to it, since he’d seen headlights flash across the front of their house, and hoped it was Miri coming back. Unfortunately, it was just one of the neighbors returning home, most likely from a night out having fun. “Fuck... wait... I know she was outside the bedroom door for a while; maybe she said something about where she was going...” 

Chinhwa arrived a few minutes later to find Minseok stressed and upset. “Here’s the video, it’s the original...” He handed the thumb drive to Minseok, then followed him to the home office. “Where’s Miri?” 

Minseok sighed and sat down at his desk, while Chinhwa stood behind his chair. “I... I don’t know... fuck... Chin, I... I told her I was divorcing her...” 

Chinhwa’s jaw dropped, and he looked at Minseok in disbelief. “You what?? Why would you do that??? I told you to wait until we could find out if the video were real before you said anything to her!!” 

“I know, I know!!!” Minseok replied as he lifted his hands and gripped his hair. “I was... I was just so... so upset and angry, and... and she kept acting like nothing was wrong, and I kept thinking it was because she was hiding it... I... I asked her questions at first, about where she’d been and who she’d been with, and she’d answer me immediately like it was no big deal, but I... I kept hearing guilt in her voice.” He dropped his head and buried his face behind his hands but left his mouth unobstructed so he could continue to talk. “I love her so much, Chinhwa, that the idea of her doing anything like that made me crazy... it made me lose all sense of reality, and I started to convince myself that it was true. And when I stopped being around her to test her reaction, at first, she tried to stay close to me, but eventually, I made it impossible, and... and she stopped trying... and I took that to mean she was having an affair...” 

Chinhwa walked over, grabbed a chair, then dragged it next to Minseok, and plopped down into it. “Fuck... Minseok, she...” 

“I know... oh god, I know, I... I broke every promise I made to her after she ran away... I made her promise me that she wouldn’t jump to conclusions, and yet... I fucking did it... and... and I’m so afraid of what she plans to do to herself because of it...” Minseok leaned forward and rested his forehead on the edge of his desk. “I’m terrified... and I have no idea where she is...” 

“But you said when she went to Jindo Island; she was all right when you got there... why would you think she was going to harm herself now? I mean, she’ll go somewhere, then wait for you to call her, then you’ll go to her, and you’ll make up, and come home, and everything will be fine again, right?” 

Minseok sighed softly and reached for his laptop, then pushed the play button on the CCTV video from the hallway outside the bedroom. He’d installed cameras all over the house after someone had threatened Miri six months ago, and all of them were motion-activated, so no-one could move through the rooms without triggering the cameras. Miri had said she hated being watched all the time, but he’d told her the only time anyone would actually be watching was if one of the alarms went off... which wasn’t true, people were watching all the time, but Minseok was able to turn off cameras at will, so when he and Miri had been playing, those rooms had been blacked out. 

Now, he sat there and watched as his beautiful wife fell apart in front of the bedroom door, her words soft but perfectly audible because of the recording equipment's quality. After Miri walked away from the door when he wouldn’t answer, with tears streaming down her face, he and Chinhwa watched as she walked through the house and checked the locks, then as she stood for that hour and watched the stairs, and Minseok started crying hard when they heard her last words, and she walked out of the frame. 

Chinhwa reached over and clasped Minseok’s shoulder as he continued watching the video, seeing Miri enter the garage and get into her car, then pull out when the garage door had fully opened, before the outdoor cameras caught her exiting the driveway to the street, then driving away. “She... she didn’t take a coat or boots or anything...” he said as he frowned. 

Minseok shook his head and placed his hand over his eyes as he tried to calm himself down. “No... no, and she didn’t take them deliberately... she had time to get them, she was in the foyer to get her bag... and that’s why I’m frightened about what she might do to herself... where she’ll go... it’s freezing outside, and the only warmth she’ll have is if she’s in the car, or if she rents a hotel room somewhere... but... but it doesn’t sound like that’s what she’s thinking of doing... oh god...” 

Chinhwa sighed and patted Minseok’s back, then plugged in the thumb drive so Minseok could see the video that had started the whole argument. The first part was the doctored version, showing Miri at a club and dancing dirty with some man Minseok didn’t know. The second part was the real video, which showed a woman who was obviously not Miri. 

“Fuck... I... dear god, I should have shown it to her and asked her about it... I know she would have said she was at home waiting for me because one of our clients had an engagement that night, and no-one else was available to escort them, so you and I had to take care of them. I wanted her to go with us, but she declined... she’d said she’d get too jealous when those ‘cute young things’ flirted with me... I can’t believe I thought she would... god, I am such a fucking bastard... and Chinhwa... I... I called her names... and I hit her... I don’t even know how I’ll make that up to her when we find her...” 

Chinhwa looked incredulously at Minseok and said, “I... I don’t even know what to say in reply to that, Minseok... that’s... that was just so... jesu... it would have been bad enough if she really had been having an affair, which would not have justified you calling her names or hitting her, but fuck... she doesn’t even know why you were so angry at her...” 

Minseok started to break down, and Chinhwa shook his head, then brightened. “Wait! I think I know how we can find her!” 

Minseok looked up and wiped his face, a spark of hope blooming in his dark gaze. “How??” 

“She has GPS on her car, right? In case she gets in an accident and can’t communicate so that the roadside assistance can find her?” Chinhwa looked at Minseok expectantly, and Minseok lifted his head from his hands and wiped his face, lost in thought for a moment. 

“Yes, I remember I told her to make sure she got it... why, is there some way we can track it? I’m pretty sure we can’t just call the Mercedes dealer and tell them we need to know where she is...” Minseok looked torn between hope and despair, and Chinhwa patted him on the back again. 

“I’ll call Yunho, he has some connections, he should be able to find her car... I don’t know how, but he seems to be able to do the things people say are impossible...” 

“Okay... call him and... and I’ll find the information on her car, in case he needs the identification or license or something...” Minseok stood up and started toward one of the filing cabinets. 

“You know, a cup of coffee would be good... and do you have any cookies or something? I think we’re both going to need the sugar and caffeine...” Chinhwa held his phone, ready to call Yunho while he waited for Minseok’s answer. 

Minseok nodded his head. “I’ll go make a pot, and... fuck... Miri made some peanut butter cookies yesterday evening... they smelled so fucking good, but I was a fucking idiot, and I didn’t help her... I waited until the middle of the night and went down to have a couple with a glass of milk... jesu, I am a stubborn, selfish motherfucker...” He sighed as he walked toward the office door, then turned around and looked at Chinhwa. “Well...?” 

“Well, what?” Chinhwa asked, then replied, “Oh, yes, I’m in full agreement with your statement, and if Miri doesn’t call you every name she can think of when we find her, I’ll do it for her...” 

Minseok sighed again and nodded his head. “Yeah, I won’t blame either of you... I’ll be back in a bit...” 

In the meantime, Mirielle found herself in the same sort of situation she’d been in when she’d run away because of the misunderstanding regarding Minseok and his idol clients at the club. Except now, he’d told her to go. Well, not in so many words, but pretty damned close. 

“I mean, telling me that he’s divorcing me and that he doesn’t care where I sleep... there’s no real way to deny what that means. I just... I wish I knew what it was that I did... I can’t even think of anything. The last time we talked to each other was weeks ago... hm... oh wait, that was the night he asked if I wanted to go to the club with him and Chinhwa because the idols had a party to attend. None of their employees was available... and I told him no because I’d get jealous...” 

Mirielle ruminated on that thought for a few minutes, then sighed softly, tears slowly starting to slip down her cheeks again, just when she’d calmed herself enough to think. “So... so it’s finally true... he fell in love with that girl... after everything he swore to me, it happened anyway... ah... okay, I see now... well... I guess... I guess I’ll just do what I said I’d do, and at least I’ll be the one keeping my word...” 

She pulled over into the next gas station she saw and drove to the pumps, then started filling her car – this time, she didn't have a full tank because she had planned to get gas on her way to work the next morning. “Hah... I wonder if I should call Lisa and let her know she’ll need to fill my position since I’m quitting... nah, I don’t want to wake her, and she’ll ask me what’s happening, and if I tell her, she’ll go to the house and punch Minseok... okay, well, so much for that, she’ll find out I’m gone at some point.” She finished filling the tank with gas, then walked into the store to pay, asking the young man behind the counter if he had a paper map. 

“A what?” The young man asked. 

“Um... a paper map... you know, instead of Google maps? I don’t have my laptop with me, and it’s so hard to read directions on my phone...” Mirielle watched as the wheels turned in the man’s head, then smiled as he reached under the counter and pulled out exactly what she was looking for. “Thanks,” she replied as she handed him the money for the gas and the map, and he handed over the paper while giving her a very strange look. 

She shrugged her shoulders and walked out of the store, then hopped back in the car, drove a few more miles down the road, and pulled into a deserted car park, where she parked under a street lamp. Turning on the interior lights, she left the car running to stay warm, then realized that part of why the young man had looked at her that way was because she was wearing Minseok’s hoodie, which was two sizes too big for her, a pair of leggings, and her house slippers, and it was nearly blizzard conditions outside. “Hah... yeah, little dude, I’m a cray cray old lady...” Miri giggled, although there was not an ounce of mirth in the sound, then opened the map and started to figure out where she was headed. 

“Well, at least I won’t have to worry about getting a spanking when Minseok finds me this time... since he wouldn’t even be looking... I doubt if he even knows I’m gone...” Miri set her elbows on the console between the seats, lowered her face into her hands, and burst into tears. She cried until she couldn’t cry any longer until she felt she was calm enough again to drive without almost causing an accident like shortly after she’d left the house – that car had looked an awful lot like Chinhwa’s, but why would he be out driving around at one-thirty in the morning? And near Minseok’s house, to boot? Then again, for all she knew, maybe Minseok had called him and asked Chinhwa to come to force Miri out of the house... still, she wasn’t sure it was him, and she was glad she hadn’t had a collision. 

She sighed deeply, wiped her face with a few tissues, then perused the map again. “Ah, okay, that’s perfect... although I should turn off my phone in case Minseok tries to call or text me... I doubt he will, but... I really don’t want to hear him call me any more names like that...” She turned off the dome light, pulled out of the car park, then started driving in the general direction of the Garden of the Morning Calm. “Hah, calm... well, at least I won’t be going there directly and ruining anyone else’s peace...” 

A little later found Chinhwa and Minseok at the desk in Minseok’s home office, waiting for Yunho to ping Miri’s car. The other young man had come to the house and logged on to Minseok’s laptop, then performed what both Chinhwa and Minseok could only consider miracles... after a few minutes of typing and tapping, they were looking at a road map of South Korea, and Yunho was currently downloading the information from the Mercedes. 

“I can’t believe it’s this easy,” Minseok murmured, as his dark eyes stayed glued to the monitor, willing the software to work. 

Yunho shrugged his shoulders. “It wouldn’t be for a lot of people, but it’s what I do... it’s how I keep track of our employees when they’re out with our vehicles, in case there are any emergencies or someone needs to get directions somewhere. I have to say, though, the program isn’t cheap... you’re paying quite a bit of Won for this, Minseok...” 

Minseok raised an eyebrow and looked at the other dark-haired man. “I think I don’t want to know, Yunho... all I want is to find my wife...” 

Yunho nodded, then started looking with more interest at the screen. “Okay, it’s just about loaded, we should start seeing all of our vehicles popping up, and as soon as we do, I’ll put in the SUV’s information. Then, we’ll be able to spot her.” 

It only took a few more seconds, and Minseok would have sworn it took hours, but finally, Yunho finished typing, sat back, and took a bite of one of Miri’s peanut butter cookies, a big gulp of his black coffee, then pointed at the screen. “There...” 

Minseok and Chinhwa both looked at the screen and frowned. “Where? And how do you know it’s her?” 

Yunho leaned closer and placed his finger over the little dot moving in a Northeasterly direction away from the city. “Because everyone else is in the city tonight, and if they aren’t, they’d be in trouble. And before you ask, I know that no-one else is outside the city because we have a policy that says they have to check in with the office before they use the company vehicle to go anywhere... and no-one is willing to get fired just to take a joy ride. None of them have called in for the past couple of days with a request to go outside the city limits. So... that’s Miri’s SUV...” 

The three men watched as Yunho increased the view, so the little dot became larger, then they observed as the dot stopped. “Hm... what’s she doing?” Minseok asked. 

Yunho changed the view to satellite, then increased it again so they could see buildings. “Um... she’s at a gas station... oh wait, now she’s driving again... oh, she’s stopped at a car park... I know that area; it’s not entirely safe...” 

Minseok and Chinhwa looked at Yunho, who looked back and shrugged. “I mean, she’s most likely going to be fine if she starts driving again soon, but if she decides to stay for too long, that car will definitely attract the wrong kind of attention.” 

“Well, we have a general idea of which way she’s going, let’s head out... can you keep that program going if you’re using wifi in a car, Yunho?” Minseok stood up and stretched, then picked up the last cookie, looked at it, and shook his head before setting it back down on the plate, which garnered questioning looks from the other two men. “I can’t eat it... I... I just need to find my wife and bring her home, and try to convince her that I never meant any of what I said... and that I didn’t mean to hurt her... and hope to god that she gives me another chance...” 

Chinhwa stood up too and patted Minseok’s shoulder. “Miri is an amazing girl, Minseok; I’m sure she’ll forgive you.” 

Yunho nodded his head. “Yes, I can keep following her with this in a car; all we need to do is plug it in and keep the laptop charged.” 

“Okay, let’s go... I don’t want to give Miri the chance to get a longer headstart... I... I am afraid of what she’s going to do to herself... she... she was so bleak...” 

Chinhwa nodded his head, and Yunho looked between the other two men, not having seen the CCTV footage. “I’ll get my spare charger cord from my car, and I need to use the restroom. I’ll meet you at the car... are we taking Chinhwa’s or yours, Minseok?” 

“Let’s take mine,” Chinhwa said, “that way Minseok can drive Miri’s car home, once we catch up to her. I do have four-wheel drive, too, so that’s helpful.” 

Less than ten minutes later, the three men were in Chinhwa’s car and driving toward the road Miri was taking as she traveled toward whatever destination she’d chosen. 

“Hm... well, that wasn’t so bad...” Miri grumbled to herself, nearly three hours later, as she drove to the pullout that led to the peninsula, east of Paraho Quay. She sat in the car for a long moment, letting the gravity of what she was contemplating sink into her heart, then opened the console, pulled out the items she needed, and stared at them for another long minute. “Come on, Kim Mirielle, stop being such a fucking coward... remember what Minseok said... he doesn’t care... you’re a fucking bitch... you deserved that slap, and more, if he felt like it, for keeping him away from the person he really loves.” 

She lifted her head and looked out the window at the darkness, then at the temperature. It was quite a bit below freezing, and it would be hours before the sun would peek its face over the horizon. She took a deep breath, slowly exhaled, then got out of the car and shivered as the cold wind off the sea bit right through her scant clothing. “Well... if nothing else, I should die of exposure before too long... and I guess it’s good that it’s not snowing, so I can do what I need to do first...” She left her phone and purse in the SUV and made sure to lock the keys inside, so if anyone found her after she was gone, they couldn’t take the key and steal the car. She did have a flashlight with her, along with the other items she’d brought, and she used the beam to help her step over the barrier, then into the trees and away from prying eyes. 

She’d noted that there wasn’t much traffic at this time of the morning, something she was highly grateful for, and as she walked further into the forest between the road and the lake, she started to wonder what Minseok was doing right now. She imagined that he was either sound asleep or already awake and getting ready for work. She knew that he wouldn’t realize she was gone until... well... he’d see her car missing and assume she’d gone to the office to sleep since she had the hidden bedroom there... and who knows how long it would be before he even noticed she’d not come home. 

She sat down next to a tree, trying to keep out of the cold wind so she could perform the task she’d set herself before she froze to death. She managed to find a somewhat secluded and sheltered spot, and while she wasn’t comfortable, at least the wind wasn’t pulling all of the warmth from her body. She knew it was just a matter of time before she suffered from hypothermia, but she didn’t think she’d get frostbite, at least. Once she was settled, she made a small hole in the ground, stuffed the flashlight into it, then took out the lighter she’d brought. She flicked it on, let it burn for a few seconds, then let it go out, pulled back one of her hoodie sleeves, and quickly set the metal against her forearm, stifling the scream that tried to burst past her lips. 

She had thought the cold would at least mitigate some of the pain, but she imagined if there would be any numbness, she’d have to be outside in the cold longer, and she wasn’t willing to wait. 

“I want to make sure that anyone who finds me knows I made myself suffer... I paid my penance... this is my punishment for believing I was lovable...” As she talked to herself, tearing open her soul and spilling her tears, she continued to flick the lighter on, then burn her skin with the hot metal, each time forcing herself not to shriek. Finally, she finished with her arm, then started on the palm of her hand, until she was sobbing and couldn’t curl her hand into a fist any longer because of the blisters and the pain. 

She caught her breath, calmed herself down, and set the lighter upside down in a patch of dirt, careful to quench the heated metal and prevent it from starting a fire. She reached into the pocket of her hoodie and took out the second item, then stared at it, unsure exactly how she would use it, as she needed both hands to pull out the blade. “Well, that was stupid, Kim Mirielle...” She contemplated for a while, then in a sudden burst of movement, she quickly curled her burnt hand, grabbed the notch in the blade of the hunting knife she held, and pulled it open, screaming as the motion pulled open a few of the blisters on her palm. 

She cried for a few minutes, her aching hand held gently against her chest, careful not to touch the sores to the material of the hoodie, then finally stopped. By this time, she’d forgotten about the cold, forgotten about where she was, forgotten about the fact that the light from her flashlight would be a beacon for anyone searching from the road, as the sky was still black as pitch. All she thought about now was the next few minutes and whether she’d have the nerve to finish what she’d started once she made the first cut. 

She began to recite her litany, the words she’d created to cut herself deeper than any knife, the ones that Minseok had erased from her memory with his love, but that had always been waiting for the moment she was vulnerable again. Now, it was as though she’d never stopped branding herself with them, and as she whispered, she took the knife, held it against her thigh over her leggings, and after another second, she took a quick swipe. At first, she thought nothing had happened since there had been no pain, but as is usually the case when something is as sharp as the blade she held, the initial cut doesn’t hurt; it’s once the body realizes it’s been injured that the agony sets in. 

Mirielle was far enough in her self-destruction that she didn’t care if anyone heard her when she shrieked. She assumed she would be dead by the time anyone found her – either from the pain she was forcing herself to feel or from the cold. She’d already decided that if she were still coherent enough to move once she was finished harming herself, she’d get up and walk to where the wind could more easily get its hands on her. She had to allow herself a long minute to recover before she was ready to cut herself again, and the second one hurt almost immediately, bringing an agonized cry from her lips. She couldn’t see the blood, even when she shone the flashlight on her leg, as the leggings she wore were black, but she could see the glistening as the liquid began to drip from the cuts and stain the ground. What she did see looked dull and dark, not vital and red, and she wasn’t entirely sure she was bleeding or if it was some sort of ichor that only her horrific body could produce. 

As the fear and pain and anguish pushed Mirielle’s sanity further past the point of no return, she suddenly didn’t know if she was some sort of monster, and she whispered, “Please... please don’t let whatever is flowing from my body hurt the earth... please don’t let it be caustic or poisonous or deadly... please let my death be the only one that occurs here tonight...” Just as she finished speaking, she laid a third cut along her thigh, surprised at how it could hurt so badly, considering she’d already done it twice. She screamed again, then dropped the knife and rolled over onto her side, sobbing as her other leg laid over the cuts and rubbed against the terrorized skin. 

“I can’t... I can’t do any more... please don’t make me do any more... please... let’s just... let’s just go toward the water, find somewhere colder... let’s just give up now, okay?” She begged herself for mercy, and she nodded her head as though another entity was answering her. “Thank you,” she whispered, “thank you... thank you...” She mumbled the words over and over and finally forced herself to sit up, then stand, and started past the tree she’d been sitting against while leaving the flashlight behind. 

It had only been forty-five minutes at the most between when Miri left the house, and Minseok, Chinhwa, and Yunho started after her, and they’d made up some time on the way, as Chinhwa was entirely able to pay attention to the road, and they hadn’t stopped anywhere. Consequently, when they found Miri’s SUV, she’d been out of the car and in the woods for only thirty minutes. Long enough to do the damage she’d done, but not long enough to die. Of course, none of the men knew what she’d planned, so they weren’t sure if they were on time or not, and Minseok started to panic when they realized she wasn’t in the car. 

Chinhwa grabbed Minseok’s arms and shook him, forcing the other man to focus, then said, “Minseok... you can’t break down now, we’re close... she’s here, somewhere, and she can’t have gone far, it’s too dark. Even with a flashlight, she’d have to go slowly. Come on, let’s see if we can find her footsteps.” 

Minseok and Yunha both nodded their heads, and the three men walked toward the barrier, shining their flashlights on the snow, when Yunho exclaimed, “I think these are hers!!” 

Minseok and Chinhwa hurried over to where Yunho was shining his flashlight, and Minseok nodded. “Yes, definitely... god, she has tiny feet... oh shit, did one of you remember to bring the blanket from the car? I don’t think she had one in the Mercedes, and even if she did... I doubt she would have it with her...” He sighed softly, and Chinhwa hurried back to their car. 

A second later, he came back and handed the blanket to Minseok. “Here... now let’s go find your wife...” 

The three of them stepped over the barrier, then headed deeper into the woods, all of them frowning when they realized that as they entered the tree canopy, the snow wasn’t as thick on the ground; hence, they couldn’t follow her footsteps. And, it was dark. 

“Shh,” Minseok whispered, “I think I heard something...” The three of them listened quietly, and suddenly, they all heard it. “It sounds like... look, there’s a light...” 

They padded toward the beam and soon realized it was a flashlight, stuck butt end into the dirt and shining brightly. They then noticed footprints in the snow that had managed to float past the thick leaves overhead, and they followed them, each trying to be as silent as they possibly could. All three of the men were trained in stealth, due to the nature of their business – even Yunho had been asked to take the course – and as they moved, they began to hear more of what they’d heard initially... the sound of a woman weeping. 

Finally, they were close enough that Chinhwa’s flashlight beam flashed over Mirielle’s curled form, then back again when he realized what it was. Minseok’s hoodie that she’d chosen was black, as were her leggings, and the only spots of color were her tawny hair and the white house slippers she wore. She’d stopped wearing the kitten ones Minseok had given her when she’d realized he had stopped talking to her, and she’d hidden them in her closet, not knowing if she’d ever wear them again. 

Now, Minseok rushed to her while Chinhwa and Yunho shone their lights on the ground so he wouldn’t trip over anything. 

“Miri-ah! Miri-ah, oh god... baby... oh honey, you’re freezing... here, let me get this around you... come on, baby, we’re going to go home...” He picked her up and wrapped her in the blanket, shocked that she’d allowed him to touch her so quickly, but when she spoke, her voice was slurred and lazy, indicating she was in the beginning stages of hypothermia. 

“Oh... hello, Mr. Kim... and oh, hello Mr. Lee and Mr. Chen, too... are you all in heaven with me? Oh, wait... people who commit suicide don’t go to heaven... uh oh, did you all come to hell? What did you guys do to be sent here?” She turned her head and blinked owlishly at the other men, then looked back at Minseok as he walked while they shone their lights at their feet and helped keep him from stumbling while he carried her. “Oh... guess what, Seokie-ah?” 

Minseok blinked and looked at Miri, a concerned expression on his face. “What, baby?” 

She laughed and tried to hit her hand against his chest, but she was too weak, and the blanket hindered her. “Oh, that’s funny... I’m not your baby; you’re confused... I’m nobody... am I dead? Why did you guys die? Where are we going? How come I can’t walk by myself? Wow, it’s cold down here in hell... I always thought it was supposed to be hot hot hot... so weird... anyway, guess what!!” 

Minseok was trying his hardest not to fall apart as Miri babbled, and he gasped, “What, Miri-ah?” 

“I died so you can be happy! See, now you can go to your girlfriend and live your best life with her, forever. And I branded my arm with the name you called me, so no-one in hell would ever forget why I was there, see!” Miri pulled at the blankets until she managed to expose her arm, then yanked on the hoodie sleeve to drag it back, hissing as the fabric rubbed over the blisters. “Bitch! I would have branded fucking too, but I couldn’t pull my sleeve up far enough, and it was too cold to take the hoodie off entirely. Oh, but I hurt my hand too because that’s... um... well, I don’t really know what that was for, it just seemed like something I deserved, too...” 

“God... Miri...” Minseok choked as Chinhwa shone his flashlight on the injured flesh of Miri’s arm and palm. 

“Oh! And guess what else??!!” 

“There’s more? Oh god... what else, baby?” They’d arrived at the cars, and Minseok looked at Miri, waiting for her to reply, then realized she’d passed out. “Jesu... I... I don’t think I can drive... Chinhwa, I have the keys to the Mercedes in my jacket pocket... would you be willing to drive Miri and me to the hospital? If Yunho is willing, and you’ll allow him to drive your car? If not, Yunho, will you drive us?” 

Chinhwa and Yunho shared a look, then Chinhwa reached into his own coat pocket, grabbed his keys, and handed them to the other man. “Follow us to the hospital, okay?” He then took the Mercedes keys out of Minseok’s pocket and unlocked the SUV. “It looks like the nearest hospital will take as long as it would to get to Seoul, with all the mountain driving. Where do you want to go?” 

They’d gotten in the car, including Yunho, so they could decide what route to take once they knew which hospital they were traveling to. 

“Seoul will be easier, and we’ll be closer to home,” Minseok said, and the other two agreed. So, Yunho drove Chinhwa’s car, Chinhwa drove the Mercedes, while Minseok sat in the back with Mirielle on his lap. She wavered between consciousness and unconsciousness, and when she was awake, the things she said tore both men apart. 

“See, I figured if I got rid of myself as you said, then you wouldn’t have to do it so that you could live guilt-free with your true love... ow, my leg is starting to really hurt...” Mirielle lifted her head and looked out the window as they were close to Seoul now, and the sun was beginning to rise. “Oh, we’re driving around... huh, I didn’t know they had cars in hell... and I still can’t figure out why you two are here? I mean, both of you have girlfriends; you should be with them!” 

Minseok fought a losing battle against his tears, and as Miri continued to babble, he cried quietly, gazing at her face as she looked around the car and avoided looking at his eyes. “Miri-ah... I’m... I’m so sorry for what I said... and for hurting you... your poor cheek...” 

Miri lifted her injured hand from under the blanket and touched her fingertips to the bruise his hand had left when he’d slapped her. “Oh... oh, it’s okay, Seokie-ah. I know I deserved it for yelling at you and demanding you talk to me. If you didn’t want to talk to me anymore, I should have just respected your wishes and left you alone. Nobody likes to be nagged. And believe me, I know I’m a major pain in the ass, all the time.” She suddenly sat up on his lap, wincing as her thigh shifted, tugging at the cuts on her leg. “Oh! Are you taking me to heaven now? Will they let me in, do you think?” 

The sun was shining over the horizon, and the windows from one of Seoul’s downtown buildings were reflecting the light, sending halos to adorn every other building in the vicinity. Honestly, it looked like heaven. 

“Miri-ah... when it’s your time to die, no matter how it happens, I can’t imagine why they wouldn’t allow you in heaven... you are an angel... and you deserve goodness and love. I am... I am so sorry...” 

Miri blinked her huge amber eyes at him and grinned. “Oh, it’s okay, Minseokie... I only ever wanted you to be happy, and if I had to die to make that happen, then it was all worth it. I mean, I punished myself so you wouldn’t have to, and I made sure when they find my body that it will say what I am, and I kept my id in my panties... I guess that’s a weird place, but look, it’s still there...” She squirmed around on his lap and dug in her leggings, then pulled her identification card from the side of her panties over her hip. “See! Now, we can show it to the guy at the gates, and maybe he’ll let me in!” 

Minseok wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with Miri like this, so he just humored her until finally, they arrived at the hospital. They walked into the emergency room, happy to see that there weren’t many other people waiting, and when he showed Miri’s wounds to a nurse, they quickly set her up in a bed, pulled the curtain around it, then went to find a doctor. Yunho had pulled into the parking space beside the Mercedes, and now, he and Chinhwa were sitting in the waiting room. Minseok watched as a nurse took Miri’s vitals, then sat and held her hand while they waited for a doctor to come to see her. 

“Minseokie?” Miri whispered, causing Minseok to look at her. He winced at the anguished expression on her face, and he stood up and gently stroked her cheek – the one he hadn’t bruised. 

“What’s wrong, baby? Do you need anything? I can find a doctor right away if you need me to... or get you some water?” He gazed into her eyes as she looked back, then she lowered her head and shook it. 

“I... I don’t need anything... I... I just wanted to say I’m so sorry... sorry for not being able to do what I promised... what you told me to do... I... I tried, but... but I guess I’m incompetent at that too...” She slowly pulled her hand from his, then turned onto her side to face away from him, and curled up into a small ball, wincing as the movement tugged on the cuts on her leg. “You... you shouldn’t stay here with me... I’m sure your girlfriend is waiting for you. I don’t need you here; I don’t mind being alone... I’ll get used to it...” 

Minseok fell to his knees beside the bed, buried his face against Miri’s back, and then started to sob. He slid one arm over her waist and placed his hand on her belly while holding some of her hair gently in his other hand. “Miri-ah... Miri-ah, there is no girlfriend... there is only you... I... I made a huge mistake, and I broke my promises to you, and I don’t know if you can ever forgive me, but I beg you... I don’t want you to leave me. I never meant to say any of what I said... you’re not a bitch... I haven’t started divorce proceedings, I don’t want you to sign any papers, and I want you to sleep with me, in our bed... I can’t believe I was so cruel to you, and I am so, so very sorry... please, baby... please believe me when I tell you that I love you so much, and I’ll spend every moment making all of this up to you...” 

Miri looked at the curtain shielding the bed from the next section, then whispered, “You promised... promised me... and you lied... you made me promise too... why did you lie, Minseokie? What... what did I do that made you so mad at me? I... I still don’t understand... I know it has something to do with that night that you wanted me to go to the club with you and the idols, but I said no, but... and I don’t know what I did wrong...” 

Before Minseok could answer her, the curtain was pulled back, and a doctor entered. He looked at Minseok, who was still kneeling on the floor, then at Mirielle, who was on her side and not paying attention to what was going on. 

Minseok stood up, and the doctor looked at him. “You’ll have to leave while I examine my patient.” 

Minseok blinked, then looked at Miri, who was studiously avoiding any attention given to her. “Okay, doctor... Miri-ah, I’ll be in the waiting room...” 

Miri didn’t acknowledge his words, and Minseok sighed softly, then walked out, closing the curtain behind him. He trudged to the waiting room and sat beside Chinhwa, and both men looked at him. 

“How is she?” Chinhwa asked while Yunho listened. 

“She’s...” Minseok sighed heavily again, then continued, “she’s broken. I... I took the trust she had in me and shattered it, and I don’t know if she’ll ever let me mend it. But if she chooses not to leave me, once she’s healed, then I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for what I’ve done.” 

A while later, the doctor came out, and Minseok stood up to walk over to him. “How is she, doctor?” 

The doctor looked at Minseok and frowned, then replied, “She’s... well, physically she’s injured and suffering from slight hypothermia, but her injuries will heal, and she’ll get better. Mentally... she... she pretended to be all right, but something in the way she looked at me... I don’t think she’s okay, but I’m not qualified to make that judgment. What I’m observing could be from the physical trauma... or whatever caused her to do that to herself... I don’t know.” 

Minseok lifted his hand and scrubbed at his face. “How... how long before I can take her home?” 

The doctor looked toward the place where Miri’s bed was behind the curtain, then looked back to Minseok. “She wasn’t exposed to the elements for long enough to need to be kept for observation... I’ve prescribed a pain medication for her to take orally and a topical pain relief cream for the burns on her arm and hand... she will also need to take antibiotics for two weeks, to counteract any infection that might have set into her burns and cuts.” He sighed, then continued. “She can go home once the medications are filled, and the paperwork is filled out... and I hope I don’t see her again. She can follow up with her family doctor in a week to have her wounds checked.” 

Minseok nodded his head to the subtle threat in the doctor’s words, then asked quietly, “Can I see her? I mean... can I stay with her until she’s ready to go home?” 

The doctor pursed his lips, then nodded. “Yes... but try not to agitate her, she is in a fragile state, and I’m not entirely sure she won’t suffer a psychotic break if she becomes too stressed.” 

Minseok nodded his head again, then walked to Chinhwa and Yunho. “The doctor said Miri would be able to go home today after she gets her medications and all the forms are signed... thank you both so much for coming to help me; I couldn’t have done it without you.” 

Chinhwa and Yunho shook Minseok’s hand, and Chinhwa patted him on the shoulder. “Any time, Minseok... you know I’ll always be here for you, just... just don’t do something like this again, okay? Miri... she didn’t deserve any of this, but she thinks she did... and that’s on you...” 

Minseok winced and lowered his gaze, although he whispered a soft, “I know...” 

Then, Chinhwa and Yunho left the hospital, and Minseok went to sit with Mirielle in her little cubby until she was allowed to go home. 

It was now a month later, and Miri was sitting on the couch, similarly to how she’d been when her ordeal had started, but now, Minseok was sitting with her and holding her on his lap. The burns on her arm and hand had healed, although the scars on her arm were somewhat visible. Their family doctor had recommended a lotion that helped the skin regenerate itself quicker, and the word Miri had branded herself with was nearly gone. The cuts on her leg hadn’t been as deep as they could have since she had been afraid of the pain, and her leggings had provided her a bit of protection, so her thigh was fully healed, as well. 

The hardest thing for Minseok to witness during Mirielle’s recovery was her fear of asking him for help. He’d thought she was being stubborn at first, but after the third day of struggling with her to let him change the dressings on her wounds, he’d snapped at her, and she’d flinched as though she’d expected him to hit her. And then she’d closed her eyes tightly, lowered her head, and let him do what he would until he was finished and told her he was done. Then she’d slipped off the bathroom counter where he’d sat her, sidled away from him without looking at his face, then raced out of the room as soon as she’d come to the door. 

He’d started after her immediately, but terror spurred her on, and she’d torn out of the bedroom and down the hall to one of the spare bathrooms, where she’d slammed and locked the door, then cried and begged him not to hurt her while he tried to get her to open the door. He’d cried while he stood there, and the realization that this must have been what she’d felt like that night when he wouldn’t let her in the bedroom almost killed him. 

He’d finally coaxed her into opening the door. Still, when he’d approached her to take her in his arms, she’d backed up and continued until she was inside the shower and pressed as tightly against the opposite wall as she could get, her eyes squinted shut, with a terrified expression on her face while she barely breathed. He’d taken a deep breath, then pulled her into his arms before picking her up and carrying her to their bed, where he lay with her, holding her until she fell asleep. 

That became their ritual for the next week, each time he had to attend to her dressings. He had started to worry that it would be how she’d react to his touch for the rest of their lives together until she began to lean toward him while he tended her wounds. She wouldn’t speak to him, other than in whispers, and only to answer his questions about inane subjects - ‘are you hungry?’, ‘do you need to sleep?’, ‘what movie do you want to watch?’ - things like that... she never talked to him without him speaking to her first, and she’d stopped telling him she loved him... which broke his heart. 

He said it to her, anyway, and often, along with apologizing for what he’d done to her. He hadn’t tried to make love to her or touch her in any sexual way while she’d been recovering since he didn’t want to brush against her wounds accidentally, but as the days had passed, she’d reached for him when she was sleeping, and he’d led her gently to dream orgasms, his deft fingers drawing soft cries of delight from her lips, that he wasn’t sure he’d hear if she were conscious, ever again. 

He didn’t know if she was aware of his ministrations while she lay sleeping, as she didn’t mention it, so he didn’t either. But he did catch her looking at him periodically as she sat in bed reading, while he stood in the closet undressing, in preparation for taking his evening shower. He hadn’t returned to work yet, and neither had she, both of them being fortunate that they had such understanding bosses... well, she did, and since he was his own boss, he very generously allowed himself the time off. 

Lisa had come to the house to see Miri a few times. While she shot dagger eyes at Minseok because of the state of her friend, having concluded that he had something to do with it, although Miri hadn’t given her any details, Lisa was lovely to Miri and kept her apprised of all the office gossip. She also brought Miri’s favorite pastries and treats, along with fan magazines highlighting Miri’s favorite idols, actors, and actresses. In the evenings, Minseok would sit beside Miri in the bed while working on his laptop, and she perused the glossies. 

Each day, he cherished her. He apologized over and over for what he’d done, and while she continued to claim none of it was his fault, the sadness he saw in her expression when she thought he wasn’t looking at her tore at his soul. When she was recovered enough to go out, he took her for walks in the cold, snowy neighborhood, holding her hand as she carefully traversed the slippery sidewalk. However, he’d purchased a pair of boots with heels that wouldn’t slip, and when they’d return to the house, she’d immediately step out of her boots and into her kitten slippers – he'd seen them sitting in the foyer suddenly one morning, replacing the pair she’d worn when she ran away. 

They’d remove their outerwear, then Minseok would lead Miri to the kitchen, where he would make them hot chocolate and ‘smores, which he had discovered was one of her favorite desserts – something he’d never known in the time since he’d met and married her. He wondered what other secrets about her life she hadn’t told him that brought her to the depths of despair he’d witnessed over the years and had finally convinced her to try to do away with herself. He hoped the time they spent alone while she healed would help her confide in him, although he knew he shouldn’t expect it since he’d broken her trust so badly. 

The third week of her recovery was Christmas, and while it was a quiet affair, Minseok was delighted to see that Mirielle had bought gifts for him, and of course, he had for her, as well. The two of them opened one present on Christmas eve before they enjoyed their traditional dinner of steak and homemade french fries – something she’d told him she and her grandmother had done every year. As they ate, he realized she’d never told him much about her family, and he’d never met any of them except her grandmother. Her grandmother had passed away a year after they’d started dating, and no-one from her side had attended their wedding, except for her friends. When they were finished, she helped him wash and put away the dishes, then they sat on the floor at the coffee table in the living room, playing board games and watching a roaring fire on their tv. 

After Miri had fallen asleep, Minseok had gone and retrieved a special present he’d had made for her, but when he went to place it under the tree, he found Miri there, kneeling in front of the enormous spruce expectantly, when he turned on the light. 

“Miri! Oh, my goodness, you startled me... what are you doing awake?” He walked toward her, then sat on the floor beside her, and she dropped her gaze to look at the gift-wrapped box in his hand. 

“Waiting to open my presents,” she answered softly, then lifted her eyes and smiled softly, the twinkling lights on the tree sending shooting stars through her golden irises. 

“But morning isn’t for hours, and Santa hasn’t come yet... shouldn’t you wait for him to arrive, first?” Minseok teased her and gently reached out to chuck her gently under the chin when she blushed. 

“My Santa is here,” she replied simply, then held out her hands for the present he was holding. 

“Aish, I have never been able to resist you, Miri-ah... all right, you can open this one, but then we’re going back to bed. Tomorrow will be a busy day, and I don’t want you sleepy.” 

Miri nodded her head and offered him a shy smile – they were going to Lisa’s house for Christmas Day dinner and would be joined by Chinhwa and Yunho, and a few other of both of their co-workers who they had become friends with. “I can’t wait to see Chinhwa propose to Lisa...” she whispered softly, her sweet face wearing a happy grin, even as her eyes filled with tears. “Do you... do you remember when you proposed to me... Seokie-ah?” 

Minseok’s heart thumped hard in his chest at her words, as this was the first time she’d initiated a conversation since she’d come home from the hospital, and it was the first time she’d used her favorite nickname for him, as well. He smiled gently at her and nodded his head, then murmured back, “I am excited for that too... and yes, I remember it as if it was yesterday, my Miri-ah...” 

He was sitting in the lotus style on the rug beside her, and Miri set the gift under the tree, then climbed into his lap, settling comfortably as she slid her arms around his waist and rested her temple against his collarbone. “I do too...” she whispered, sighing softly when he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “Are you... are you sorry... you met me...? Do you wish... wish you’d met someone else... first?” 

Minseok couldn’t stop his eyes flooding with tears at the plaintive tone of her voice when she’d asked those questions, and he rested his cheek against her forehead while he felt the salty droplets begin to slip down his cheeks. “No, never...” he replied. 

“Are... are you sure? Because... because I would... I would let you go... if that’s what you wanted...” Miri’s voice broke, and she turned her head to press her face into the hollow of his neck. 

For the past weeks, while they’d been at home and he’d been taking care of her, neither of them had broached the subject of why Minseok had treated Miri the way he did, although he’d been prepared to explain everything to her if she’d asked. He’d tried to talk to her about it, to mention that she’d asked him while they were waiting for the doctor at the hospital, but whenever he’d start to say anything that had to do with that night, she’d shake her head and whisper that she didn’t want to know. Now, he felt her trembling in his embrace, then the hot wetness of her tears as she started to cry while she waited for his answer. 

“Miri-ah... I don’t want you to let me go... I wouldn’t know where to go if you did... you are my world, and... and I’m so sorry I hurt you so deeply. I... I haven’t ever experienced anything like that, like what happened, and as much as I thought I’d be able to handle it, I couldn’t... and I let my fear of losing you become almost losing you. I love you more than you could possibly imagine, and I will do whatever it takes to convince you that I never meant to say any of those things or do what I did...” 

And finally, she asked the question he’d been dreading but needing her to ask since that night. “Why... why did you say and do those things? What did I do that made you hate me so much?” Her voice was tight and full of sorrow, and he slowly began to rock her back and forth while he held her. 

“I never hated you, Miri-ah... not ever... I thought you...” He stopped talking for a moment and sighed, then said, “Someone sent me a videotape... it was of a girl who looked exactly like you, and she was at a club with a guy, and they were dancing... and it was obvious they were very familiar with each other... and it was dated the night that I asked if you wanted to go to the club with me, Chinhwa, and the idols, and you’d declined. I... I thought... I can’t believe I thought you were cheating on me...” 

“But... but it wasn’t me... why didn’t you ask me? You promised... you made me promise... to not jump to conclusions again... why... why were you so... so mean...?” Suddenly, Miri started to move around in Minseok’s lap, and he loosened his grip around her, then wrapped her in a hug again when she had turned to face him and was wrapped around him like a koala. “Why were you so mean... I... I didn’t know what I did... and you wouldn’t tell me... and I... when you said you didn’t care where I slept, I... I just wanted to go somewhere and die...” 

Minseok swallowed and buried his own face against Miri’s neck, unable to keep himself from sobbing as the full weight of what she’d said collapsed on top of him. The two of them cried together for a few minutes until finally, they both began to calm down. “Miri-ah... the video... it was you... except it wasn’t... I found out that it wasn’t when Yunho uncovered the layers, and your face was removed. It was such a perfect replica, I... I couldn’t ask you because I was afraid of what you’d tell me...” He sniffled and lifted his head to look around for a box of tissues. “Honey... there are no tissues here, and we both need to blow our noses... come to the bathroom with me, so I can wash your face, then let me cuddle you in bed, and we can talk more if you want, okay?” 

Mirielle sniffled and nodded her head, then stood up with him and let him take her hand to lead her to their bedroom. Soon, they were curled up together in their bed, face to face, while he whispered the rest of what had happened that night and how they’d been able to find her before it had been too late. “I thank the gods every day that Chinhwa had those GPS units installed in our company cars... but I wish more that I hadn’t done anything to make you run from me again... I would do anything... give anything... to go back to when I saw that video so I could make the right decision, and talk to you before I let it get out of hand again...” 

“I... I believe you, Seokie-ah... but... but I’m still... still hurt... I just... I just keep remembering how you looked at me... like I was... like I was the ugliest thing you’d ever seen in your life, and you wanted me to... to disappear... and... and I was so... so disappointed in myself when I couldn’t even do that... I felt like even more of a failure than I already knew I was...” Miri gasped, and Minseok pulled her tightly against himself. 

“My sweet Miri-ah... you are not a failure, but I can honestly tell you that I am glad you weren’t successful in ending your life... I never want to be without you. And I know... I know I said this before, but I swear... if anything like this happens again, I will ask you about it. I promise, with my entire being. I hope to god I never have a reason to prove my words to you, but if I ever do, I will be the man I should have been that night...” Minseok held her while Miri sobbed, rubbing her back as her breath heaved in her chest. 

Finally, when she’d calmed down enough to speak again, she’d whispered, “I love you, Seokie-ah... when I thought you didn’t love me, I... I couldn’t imagine life without you. That’s why I wanted to go away forever.” 

Minseok hugged her tightly, then whispered, “I felt the same... I wouldn’t have wanted to live if you weren’t with me...” 

Eventually, they stopped talking and fell asleep, and they had a lovely time at the party with their friends; both of them were thrilled when Chinhwa proposed to Lisa, and she accepted. 

That was a week ago. Last night had been New Year’s Eve, and they’d thrown a small get together, invited a few of their friends, then spent the evening playing games and drinking until everyone had gone home at some point after three a.m. Now, he was holding her on the couch, she was dozing while they watched a movie, and he suddenly felt her begin to squirm on his lap. 

He raised his eyebrows and looked at her face, wondering if she needed to get up to do something, but she was slack-jawed and murmuring slightly, which he knew meant she was dreaming, and as he watched her, she licked her lips, then sighed softly. They were bundled under a blanket since they liked to keep it chilly in the house, and he saw the blanket suddenly moving, then peeked under it in time to see Miri slide her hand inside her pajama bottoms. Then, her bottoms started moving in some interesting ways, and she began to moan softly, leading him to believe she was fingering her bare pussy. 

They still hadn’t made love yet, and he’d only been touching her when she was asleep, which meant he’d only been relieving himself when she wasn’t awake, and he was missing her body terribly. “Fuck...” he groaned almost silently, as he felt his dick getting hard and poking against Miri’s hip. He carefully slid his hand under the blanket, then into her bottoms, to gently palm her hand in his and feel her caressing herself in her dream. He moved around a bit so he could lay back further into the couch cushions, which gave him better access to her nethers, and he began to manipulate her fingers, gently pressing on them to urge her to slip them inside her pussy, while he nudged the ball of her thumb against her clit. 

A quiet gasp passed her lips, then a soft sigh, and then a small whimper as she spread her legs wider, and he felt her heat rising. Giving up all pretense of helping her pleasure herself, deciding he wanted to do it for her instead, he gently pulled her hand out of her pants, then stuffed his back in, and started rubbing her bare skin tenderly. He carefully slid his fingertips between her labia, another groan rumbling in his throat when he felt how wet and puffy her soft petals were, and he turned his head to kiss her, his hunger for her lips overwhelming his senses. They’d also not kissed in their usual fashion since that night, although they’d exchanged quick pecks or brushes of their mouths against their cheeks. Now, he claimed her lips as he cradled her in his arms and began to rub her tiny button insistently. 

He thought she was still in her dream when he felt her arms slide around his neck, and even when she started to kiss him back, but when she whispered his name into the kiss, he opened his eyes to find hers opened and gazing back at him, her irises the color of copper, while her pupils were wide with arousal. He broke the kiss but continued fondling her and murmured, “Hello, Mrs. Kim...” 

“H-Hello, Mr. Kim,” Miri replied, stuttering because he’d tickled her soft inner petals with his gentle fingertips. She gripped the front of his sweatshirt with both hands and clung to him, gasping as he slipped two of his fingers inside her wet depths while rubbing her clit with his thumb. 

“Tell me, Mrs. Kim... do you know I’ve been playing with you while you’ve been sleeping?” Minseok smiled as Miri blinked, then blushed and nodded her head. 

“Mhm...” she hummed, then gasped and rolled her hips to feel his fingers slide deeper. She closed her eyes, and he chuckled. 

“I see... did you like me doing that to you, sweet girl?” He kissed her forehead while she squirmed on his lap. “It seemed you did...” 

“Mhm,” Miri hummed again, then moaned when he tugged his fingers out and rubbed his wet fingertips over her tight rosebud. 

“Miri-ah?” Minseok whispered while he teased her gently. 

“Yes, Seokie-ah,” She whispered back. 

“May I... may I make love to you?” She gazed into his dark eyes and smiled when she saw the uncertainty on his magnificent features. 

“Yes, please,” she replied sweetly, a deep moan passing her lips when he pulled her against him, captured her lips in another passionate kiss, then started to move around on the couch so that he could push her onto her back. 

“Right here... naked on the couch... under the blanket?” He murmured to her as he gripped her sweatpants and started to pushed them over her hips and down her legs. 

She helped him remove the garment from her, then grabbed his sweatshirt and yanked on it, coaxing him to help her rid him of it. Then it was her sweatshirt and his pants, and soon, he was hovering over the top of her, the blanket covering them both, while he thrust himself slowly and gently inside her tight puss. 

“Oh... Seokie-ah... you... you feel so good... I... I love you... I love this... don’t stop... please don’t stop... loving me...” Miri reached up and cupped his cheeks, then tugged gently, and he lowered himself to rest on his forearms, so he could kiss her over and over while he made tender love to her. 

“I love you so much, Miri-ah... more than I could express in words... so I will do my best to prove it with my actions, for the rest of my life.” Minseok pressed his lips to her neck and nuzzled her, then started to move faster while she lifted her legs and rested them over his back. Her voice rose with delight as he took her harder until the two of them had met their highs and were lying side by side under the blanket, cuddling close and kissing softly. 

“Can we... can we do that again... in our bed?” Mirelle whispered quietly as she slow-blinked at Minseok. 

“Mhm...” he answered. He turned off the movie, stood up and picked Miri up in his arms, then carried her to their room and spent the next hours making love to her, the gentle connection beginning the process of healing her heart. 


End file.
